


I Wonder When We're Gonna Make It || phandom reverse bang 2020 (1980s au)

by AnironSidh



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), dan and phil
Genre: 80's Music, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Because of Reasons, Betaed, Event Fic, Face Slapping, Inspired by Art, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Violence, POV Dan Howell, Period-Typical Homophobia, Phandom Reverse Bang, Phandom Reverse Bang 2020, Queen (Band) Lyrics, Queen music, Running Away, Short, Song: Staying Power (Queen), Song: Your Song (Elton John), Staying Power - Queen Song, Title from a Queen Song, Underage Drinking, Vineyard, Wine, im projecting my love for queen onto dan howell, it's nothing major, like once, possibly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25323880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnironSidh/pseuds/AnironSidh
Summary: When a new neighbor moves into the town that Daniel Howell has lived in his entire life and finds his safe spot in the town's vineyard, he will challenge Dan's view of himself and his town. Soon enough, they find themselves in an attraction nothing like Dan's ever known and one that those around them cannot understand.This may be Dan's only chance to escape and truly be himself.-A fic for a phandom reverse bang 2020 prompt in which Dan and Phil live near a vineyard, sneak grapes, drink stolen wine, and fall in love despite the times (1980s). Also, in which I project my love for queen onto Dan, because Muse doesn't exist yet and because I can.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12
Collections: Phandom Reverse Bang 2020





	I Wonder When We're Gonna Make It || phandom reverse bang 2020 (1980s au)

**1980s rural England**

Dan only managed to let his breath out once he was a few rows in. He’d almost forgotten how  _ good _ it felt to disappear into the sprawling vineyard next door. Today the problem had been the constant noise of the moving truck, but it was always something that drove him there. With the rotten luck he had, the new neighbor was probably going to be some  _ girl _ his parents would bother him about asking out. 

He shook his head, tucking his headphones away in the bag along with his battered walkman. Getting the stupid thing had been enough of a struggle with his parents, he was  _ not _ going to risk anything happening to it. 

“Fucking  _ finally _ ,” he muttered as he slowed down by one of the bigger trees in the vineyard, one he’d always felt safe under its shade. A place for reading a book, or doing homework during the school year, or just escaping from his house. There were no grapes to pick just yet, not this early in the summer, but he could still let himself relax here. 

Dan collapsed by the tree, leaning back against the trunk. He hadn’t been here since  _ before _ final exams. At least he’d passed, though his parents had already complained about his rather  _ lacking _ grades in some areas.  _ ‘You can’t be a lawyer with these grades _ ’, they’d lectured, as if he actually  _ wanted _ to go into law. There wasn’t much else, at least nothing that would make him more hireable to whatever boss would hire him, preferably in London, or even Manchester. Anywhere that wasn’t  _ this _ place. 

He’d miss the vineyard, but visiting wouldn’t be too much of a chore when he had a break from uni. Charlie would have to understand. The elderly man had owned the vineyard for years, long before Dan himself was even born, but the two of them understood each other in a way. Charlie had no kids, had never even been married, so it was just him and a few dogs. 

“Oh,” a voice said  _ just _ as Dan was almost falling asleep. He opened his eyes just enough to see the speaker and glare at him, opening his mouth to say  _ something _ . Then, for really no reason at all, he didn’t. The boy in front of him stood, well, awkwardly was an understatement. 

“Who the hell are  _ you _ ?” Dan finally demanded, raising one eyebrow, and stood to face the other boy. 

The boy stammered senselessly for a moment, then, “Phil.” He fixed his oversized glasses, the frames sliding off of his sharp nose, and began nervously messing with his quiff of mousy brown hair. “I, uh, I just moved in. The blue house, y’know? I can leave if you want, I didn’t know this was yours or something, but my mum told me to go outside and I just… yeah,” the boy rambled, his pale cheeks growing pinker and pinker the longer he stood there. 

Dan couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s not mine, actually, this is Charlie’s vineyard. I’m Dan, I just hang out here to avoid my parents. We live in the brown house. You’re the new neighbor, then?”

“Yeah,” Phil said, relief filling his voice that Dan now realized was tinged with a Northern accent. “My dad got a new job here, so we moved from Rawtenstall. My brother Martyn moved here a few years ago with his fiancée before they got married, anyways.”

“It’s pretty boring here, just a fair warning,” Dan said as he sat back down, patting the ground beside him with a look up at Phil. The boy froze for a second, then sat down beside him gently. 

Phil glanced over a few minutes later to say, softly, “It’s nice here, actually. Quiet.”

Dan met his gaze for a moment, his response lost in the  _ ridiculous _ blue, then shook his head and shrugged. “Yeah, I guess,” he muttered in response. “This place is about the only nice thing. Only thing I’ll miss when I get out of here to go to uni. I suppose you’ll be going to uni this fall, right? How old are you, anyways?”

“I’m nineteen,” Phil replied with a shrug. “And I guess so. Are you?”

Dan stared for a moment, struggling to match Phil to his age, an odd feeling arising. “Seventeen, but my eighteenth is in a week. Like I said, uni this fall is the one thing I’m looking forward to so I can get out of  _ here _ finally. I think I’ll move to London. Any fucking city, really.”

Phil just hummed in agreement, turning away then as if to inspect the nearest tree.

Oddly enough, instead of the paralyzing awkwardness he usually felt around anyone outside of those he’d known for  _ years _ , Dan felt like he  _ could _ just sit beside Phil without saying much. He put his headphones back on after a few moments, putting on an album at random. 

_ You and me got staying power, yeah. You and me we got, staying power. _

Dan glanced over at Phil, sitting next to him and smiling aimlessly, and smirked. ‘Staying Power’... huh. 

-

He struggled through dinner that night and suffered through the heavy atmosphere long enough to escape to his room at the first chance. Adrian shot him a bit of a glare, trapped in an awkward conversation with their father, but Dan ignored him as he scooted past his mother as she cleared the table. A part of him  _ almost _ felt bad, until he dashed up the stairs. All his parents would do would be giving him a lecture about his grades, or uni, or asking the nice girl down the road to the stupid end of year dance. Adrian could take one for the team tonight. 

His room was one of the few places he’d ever felt able to relax. Posters covered his walls, from Rolling Stones and the Beatles to Queen, including his prized Hot Space poster from the Milton Keynes concert he’d saved up to go to.  _ That _ fight had lasted for hours until they let him go after making sure he knew it would be  _ his _ fault if something went wrong. 

Nothing had, so  _ there _ . He’d gone, stuck around with a group of lads his age from London, sang along with Freddie Mercury until his voice was hoarse, and went back home to his cold dark house. 

Dan shut his lights off and stumbled across his dark room, but paused at the side of his bed. A rectangle of light shone into his window from across the way. He froze. The curtains were open, so it really wasn't his  _ fault _ for spying. 

Phil didn't seem to notice him, bustling around his room and moving things around. Dan crawled onto his bed before he realized and sat back on his heels to just _ watch _ . He just seemed so  _ calm _ , like nothing could possibly be bothering him in that moment. Dan couldn’t remember the last time he’d really felt like everything was  _ right _ and nothing could go wrong. Lately, everything from school to the just plain  _ off _ feeling any time a girl in his class made an attempt at flirting or just asking him out, it all felt  _ wrong _ in a way Dan couldn’t explain. 

If he hadn’t been so deep into his thoughts, he would’ve noticed Phil turning around and pausing the second he saw Dan. As it was, he  _ just _ caught Phil’s cheery wave accompanied by a grin. Dan felt the blood rise to his cheeks and just managed to wave back, hoping that Phil couldn’t see his  _ stupid blush _ . 

It was  _ fine, _ everything was bloody  _ fine _ . 

-

For once, Dan left his headphones off once he reached the edge of the vineyard. He  _ knew _ his parents would be right pissed off at him for sneaking out, but he really hadn’t wanted to listen to his mum talk on and on about William and his  _ bloody _ fiancée and their stupid  _ wedding _ with those stupid looks over at him, as if she could  _ make _ him magically not be a disappointment and find a fucking  _ girlfriend _ like his  _ stupid _ cousin. 

He couldn't help but smile when he spotted Phil lounging beneath Dan's usual tree with a book in his lap and staring up at the sky. Phil glanced over at the  _ snap _ of a branch under Dan's foot, beaming such a smile that sent him stumbling and his stomach a-tumbling. 

It was  _ fine _ , everything was  _ fucking _ fine. 

"Hello," Phil greeted, his Northern accent much more pronounced now than it'd been before. Dan wasn't sure why he noticed or why it even mattered. 

"Hey," he managed. 

The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, simply sitting and watching the clouds. "So, Dan," Phil said rather out of the blue. "You seem upset about something," 

"It's…" He wanted to just say 'it's nothing', wanted nothing more than to pretend that everything was  _ fine _ , but yet… maybe it would be  _ nice _ to let it all out, let it out but keep the things he didn't dare to admit to himself. But this, this was fine. "My cousin's getting married to his bloody fiancee in a few weeks, and my parents are pretending I'll act  _ normal _ , and I can't even fucking dance anyways."

To his surprise, Phil stood up after a quiet moment, his hand held out as an offer to freely take and a gentle smile on his face. Dan raised one eyebrow as if in a question. "I could teach you to dance, if you want," Phil offered. "I learned for Martyn's wedding. It's not too hard."

Dan took Phil's hand before he could so much as  _ think _ about it, allowing himself to be pulled up onto his feet. Just as he moved to pull his hand away to  _ avoid _ thinking about how nice it was to hold Phil's hand, another of those terrifying thoughts he refused to think on, Phil reached for his other hand and guided Dan close enough that he felt Phil  _ must've _ been able to hear his heart pounding. 

"I'll teach you the follower's part first, so you know it," Phil explained as he backed them away from the tree. "And then the other, yeah?"

Dan forced a nod, his mind going utterly _ blank _ when Phil moved one of his hands to his shoulder and carefully grasped Dan's hip, his awkward smile going some way towards calming Dan's racing thoughts. He released his grip for a moment to pull a radio from behind the tree and press the play button before he reached for Dan's hand once more. 

🎵 _ It's a little bit funny, this feelin' inside _

_ I'm not one of those who can easily hide🎵 _

Dan couldn't help but smile as Phil began to guide him in a sort of swaying movement, the song a welcome distraction from how Phil's hand on Dan's  _ hip _ felt. "I didn't know you listened to Elton," he said. They'd only met a few times since, so far in town or the few times Dan would sit outside his house, but somehow their tastes in music hadn't come up yet. 

Phil shrugged. "Martyn gave me a few of his records for my birthday once. " He paused for a moment, seemingly thinking about _ something _ while he spun the two of them about. "There's something about this song, y'know?"

"Yeah," was all Dan could say in response. 

_ 🎵Oh, I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do. My gift is my song and this one's for you🎵 _

Try as he might, Dan couldn't help but let himself relax in Phil's grasp, a stark opposite to how he'd moved during any of the school dances he'd gone to with whatever girl agreed. He couldn't help it. It had only been a few short weeks since he'd met this boy - a young man a year older than him almost, actually, he corrected himself - but somehow this was different than anything he'd felt before, something that quite frankly terrified a part of him. 

_ 🎵I hope you don't mind, That I put down in words, How wonderful life is while you're in the world _ 🎵

"I'm sorry if I step on your feet," Phil quipped with a smile a moment or so later. "I've always been clumsy."

Dan found himself letting out a soft laugh. "We've got that in common, then."

_ 🎵Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean. Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen🎵 _

Oddly enough, all Dan  _ could _ see from this close were Phil's blue eyes that seemed to sparkle along with his joyful grin and something  _ else _ he couldn't quite name. His glance ever so slightly downward was brief enough that Dan himself barely noticed he'd done it. 

Not that it  _ meant _ anything, obviously. 

Phil was just his  _ friend _ , and he'd move away to London or somewhere soon  _ anyways _ , so there wasn't even a point to thinking about  _ that _ at all. 

"Song's nice," Dan managed to rasp out a few moments later, instantly cursing his  _ stupid _ mouth. 

"Yeah." Phil moved closer, or maybe it was just Dan's imagination. "This is."

Dan glanced at some random spot behind Phil's shoulder then. He  _ wouldn't _ get his hopes up, wouldn't let Phil's stupid words get to him. "I've got a load of Queen albums at home," he suddenly blurted. "Y'know, if you'd want to listen to some. My mum would probably just be glad I have a… a friend over."

_ Was _ it just the light, or did something in Phil's gaze shift  _ wrong _ ? Dan winced. Phil slowly stepped back a few inches, his smile not quite reaching his eyes and his, "Yeah, I'd like that" sounding rather forced. 

Dan felt rather like an  _ idiot _ as he replied, "Cool."


End file.
